Drinking is my ultimate downfall. Some days it turns me into someone I’m not. Or at least someone I like to hide. It kills certain demons just long enough for others to emerge. For that alone is a demon in itself. One that gets stronger every time I give in. Every time I stop fighting is another step closer to a final demolition. An internal destruction. A battle that I lost long before it started for my strength diminishes with every taste of temporary bliss. It flees at a moments notice and cowers within the darkest depths of my soul. Strength, which I now know as a permanent weakness, will soon flounder among the ruins of myself that get left behind. The demons will soon feast on remnants to make them all but non existent. That’s what drinking is. It’s a killer and one that most days I still happily allow entrance. For a simple taste of death is all it takes to want it to be a permanent residence.
The whiskey felt as if it were seeping through my body and into my bloodstream. I may as well have hooked up an IV straight into my veins as strong as i was receiving the liquid. My head was quickly becoming incapacitated and i loved every single bit of it. My thoughts were no longer even my own and that aspect alone had me giddy with the notions of outlandish possibilities. My thoughts, They belonged to Mr. Jack. He controlled what started to spew from my mind and the words that were sprouting forth from my fingers. For I knew that once i woke in the morning i wouldn’t remember any of it. All i would have was my written work to remind me of what kind of drunken human being i was. Hopefully an amusing one because god knows i need to have some sort of talent. If it isn’t depth than i surely choose laughter as a second. Which was good since laughter was the only audible sound to be expelled from my numbed lips. The world in itself had just seemed to be filled with hilarity and absolute obnoxious, yet realistic, properties. Nothing would bring me down from my short lived internal high. If it tried, I wouldn’t let it anyway. I needed to disappear and let someone else take over the reins for a bit and if Jack chooses that responsibility than ill let him. At least there will be a part of me that will be in complete bliss. Complete happiness. Absolute utter irresponsibility at its best and I didnt give two flying fucks. Inebriation was all that mattered and all that could be depended on to be a constant. Relishing in my bad judgments has just made life more interesting as my eyes begin to flutter and then clamp shut for their final time. The only thought that gleams through my mind is “beauty”, as my mind disappears behind the liquid that was flowing through its passage. “Pure Beauty”.